Patience young grasshopper

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

The last several months have been frustrating at best as I have been dealing with my first serious running-related injury. In general, I've handled the situation relatively well. I (re)learned how to bike and swim, I've seen various doctors and physical therapists, and I've spent a lot of extra time stretching, icing, and doing various strengthening exercises. I'd been seeing progress, albeit slow, and had even starting running again, 2-3 miles at a time. But yesterday, after a 3 mile run, I felt that familiar painful pull from whatever it is that's f-ed up in my ankle, and I nearly lost it. It felt like all of the hard work I've done over the past few months, all of the money spent treating this, all of the rest I've taken... was just crashing down on me. I felt overwhelmingly sad and lethargic. I moped around all day, stared blankly at my computer screen at work, ignored phone calls, ate like there was no tomorrow, and just generally felt really, really badly for myself.

Well, as I always say, a good night's rest can cure anything. I woke up today, still sad, but more refreshed and ready to grab life by the reigns and take charge of what I can control. (Thus, the serenity prayer).

After a small cup of coffee, I pushed myself out the door and rode my bike 18 miles.  It wasn't easy to convince myself to gear up (because honestly, biking feels like a huge hassle to me most of the time), but once I was out there, I could feel my mood elevating immediately. Plus I was treated to this fantastic view!

So, after a lovely start to my day, I'm focusing on two things: 1) accepting that I'm injured and will not be racing in Europe, and 2) taking the necessary steps to figure out exactly what is wrong because, believe it or not, I still don't actually know what's up with my ankle! As of right now my doctor is working with my insurance company on authorization for an MRI, which should tell me exactly what's wrong and hopefully then how to effectively treat it. That's all I can do for right now.

In the meantime, I keep reminding myself that my life could be a lot worse. I've got it really, really good!

Random thoughts...

• I LOVE being in the mountains. It's a special feeling to stand atop a mountain peak, still breathing hard from the intense effort it took to get there, looking out at the endless, snow,tree,rock-covered peaks surrounding you, and realizing that this very moment is one of the main ingredients for happiness and fulfillment in your life. 

From the top of Squaw Valley Mountain Resort (~9,000 ft)

• And since I can't be in the mountains right now, just being outside will do. 

• It's amazing what a little (or a lot) of stretching and sleep can do for your body. Unfortunately it usually takes injury or sickness to realize that we need to stretch a certain area, or sleep 8-9 hours a night, but when you do start consistently taking care of yourself in these ways, the benefits are incredible. 

Sharks + sleep = awesome!

• Speaking of sharks, Great White Sharks are fascinating creatures! I just cleaned out my book shelf (per some inspiration from Cary Fortin) and stumbled upon The Devil's Teeth, which was crammed into the back of my book shelf. Turns out it's this amazing story about the Farallon Islands, the Great Whites that live there every fall from Sept-Nov, and the people who live/breath/study sharks. Highly recommend - especially to Bay Area folks.

• Is it the weekend yet?!!!! We're thinking about trekking up to Squaw again this weekend for more adventure. Because it was just. that. awesome!!!!

Save the valley floor from developers!

Runnerbugz' first injury that can't be fixed with a foam roller??

I've been experiencing some pain in my right heel and ankle tendons for quite some time now. But things got markedly worse after running in that damn relay race 2 weekends ago, whereby I would run relatively hard (on the unforgiving road) and then sit in the van for several hours and tighten up. Not ideal.

I've been running through this heel/ankle stuff for a few months now actually, which perhaps is problem #1; not nipping it in the bud and taking time off. But how could I take time off when prepping for a race? 

This past week was kind of a turning point for me mentally. I had a tough week with running. Not only did I feel tired/sluggish on every single run, but I could feel my heel through every step of each run. This is a change from previous runs where it would hurt in the beginning and then the pain would subside as I settled into the run.

The latest in runnerbugz fashion - the Strassburg sock for plantar fasciitis relief

So I've enjoyed somewhat of a mental tussle with myself over what to do, but ultimately the reasonable side of me has won out and I'm taking a few days off (for starters) in addition to going to see an ortho that specializes in the foot/ankle. As much as I love to run, it's just not quite as enjoyable with an injury.

I've surprised myself a bit with how I've handled this situation. And not the good kind of surprise. My emotions are ranging from sheer panic about losing fitness to straight-up FOMO to mild depression. How have I become this obsessed/addicted to something whereby the thought of not doing it for a bit is absolutely terrifyingly???

Anyway, I'm not happy nor proud of this reaction, so I truly believe this rest is much needed, both physically and mentally. This week I'm choosing to focus my energies on a few things in lieu of running:  1) getting lots of rest and sleep -- when sleeping your body releases a growth hormone which stimulates muscle growth and repair, 2) stretching/strength exercises -- my goal is to attend a yoga class this week, and 3) biking for fun -- to enjoy the beautiful weather and get a little cardio.

Dealing with injury is tough. But I'm feeling extra grateful for my years of running injury-free and I'm looking ahead to an exciting summer of training once I get this minor setback under control.

Lake Sonoma Race Report - 11th place (woman)

Over a week out from the LS 50 and I can't stop thinking about the race. It was an incredibly tough, yet rewarding experience. I didn't die, bonk, crash, or fall. But, I did feel the hurt way earlier than expected and my legs stopped turning over approximately half way through the race. I felt a nasty blister forming on my left heel within 4 miles of starting and my right, plantar fasciitis-inflicted heel throbbed the entire second half of the race. I probably walked/slow-jogged 80% of the last 20 miles. But, I kept repeating my mantra, "forward progress," and I finally reached the finish line, fighting back tears of joy and pride, in 8 hours and 47 minutes.

One of twelve (?) river crossings and still smiling!

I walked away from this race: 1) fired up to run more ultras, and 2) feeling like I have a lot to improve upon. As a newbie to the world of ultra running, my key takeaways from the race are below.

Race Takeaways:

1) Downhill running is important. Moreso than I could have imagined. Some people are really freaking good at it and it makes a huge difference. Going uphill, I felt like my fitness was on par with the runners that finished ahead of me. But I got my butt whooped going downhill. The women that passed me were legit bombing down at speeds I've never seen and it caught me off guard every single time. [It should be noted that Travis warned me about practicing my downhill running. Much to my dismay on race day, I totally ignored all of his warnings].

2) A good ultra runner is strong. The top women are supplementing their running with strength training, weights, core, flexibility, etc. It was evident in how their bodies looked (most, anyway) and in how they ran. They just looked really super all-around fit when they ran past me.

3) I should have started a little bit slower. With a long day ahead, there is no reason to start out fast. Instead of working my way up through the field and passing people, I was the one getting passed. This was ridiculously mentally defeating. I certainly don't think I should have started a ton slower, but there was no reason to go out with the top 4 women.

4) A few more long runs/miles in my training would have been beneficial. I barely topped out at 60 miles/week and I just don't think that was enough for me. My body started getting tired and slowing down around mile 18, which is way too early for a 50-mile race. I needed more practice on my feet, pushing an achy/tired body through a few more long runs. Ideally, I would have done a 50k race in the weeks leading up to Lake Sonoma.

Still smiling, but about to get passed by the lady in red

On the nutrition side of things, I felt like I totally crushed it for my first race. I never once felt nauseous out there. I drank a water bottle with 1.5 scoops of Tailwind every hour and half or so, and I nibbled on Clif Shot Bloks. It's such an interesting and delicate balance that you need to find while running. And your body can only process ~240 calories per hour, so you have to make sure not to ingest too much. I wouldn't really do a whole lot different on this front for my next race. Some suggested I would have benefited by taking salt pills. 

One of my favorite parts of the race was at the finish, surrounded by friends and family. I sat down on a hay bale and didn't move for 20 mins or so. Travis tried to bring me a tamale and beer, but my stomach wasn't having it. The most amazing thing also happened at the finish....without being asked, Travis took off my nasty, disgusting shoes and socks and slipped my sandals on my feet. Byron documented this for me.

#amazeballs

Looking ahead, I'd like to jump into a 50k before heading over to Chamonix for the CCC. Maybe a few more shorter races. My recovery experience from this race has been amazing and I'm almost feeling back to normal. This is pretty hard to believe considering I'm usually out of commission for a month after a road marathon. 

Would LOVE to run Lake Sonoma again and I highly recommend it to others. It was a great, well-organized, competitive race. And I KNOW I can run it faster!!!

Pre-Race Gratitude

In approximately 65 (or so) hours, I'll be at the start line of the Lake Sonoma 50. I think it finally hit me on Monday...this is really happening!!!! And since Monday, I've been experiencing waves of panic, anxiety, fear, doubt, and, believe it or not, a mini, baby bit of excitement too. I've spent the better part of this week devouring last year's race reports and videos, reading blogs written by my competitors, staring at the course map/elevation profile, thinking about what I'll wear, mentally prepping for the pain, etc. At times, the on-and-off anxiety I'm experiencing over the 50-mile distance feels overwhelming. 

And to calm myself down, I circle back to the title of this post and remind myself how lucky and truly grateful I am to be running this race. I'm not injured. I have an amazing support system. I love trails. I love running. I love being around other people that love running. I'm just so darn happy when I'm outside and running!

Furthermore, I may never again find myself in such a lovely place in life with respect to running and racing. This sounds dramatic, and maybe it is. But you just don't know what tomorrow will bring. When I step up to the start line at 6:30am on Saturday, I will not be taking that for granted.

And finally, this is a race and I must compete! (Thanks to Travis for that reminder). I'm feeling the most anxiety over not knowing how I'll do. Not knowing where I'll fit in with the other runners. Not knowing roughly how fast I will cover the course. Not knowing at what point I'll start hurting. And what if I start hurting earlier than expected? The list of unknowns is endless. Really, all I need to do is finish this race and earn my 2 points for the CCC. But, I've put in the time and the training, and I owe it to myself to be in the mix and competitive with the other women.

Stay tuned for my post-race blog post. Here we go!!!!!!!!!

Year of the Ultra

It's 2014 and it's officially been over a month since my m-thon. Time's up on all laziness, excuses, gluttony, etc. But I sure did enjoy the last month with little work, little running, lotta holiday parties, and lotta honeymoon. 

I thought I kept myself in okaaaaay shape over the last month. We certainly didn't go overboard on endurance exercise on our trip, but we did manage to pull off some exercise, including: 1) an 8 mile run in (failed) search of a coffee plantation in Antigua, Guatemala, where my nose started bleeding profusely around mile 7, 2) an intense motha-f$cking hike up Volcan San Pedro that knocked my quads out of commission for 5 days straight, 3) a painful 4-5 mile run up a dirt road near Cerro Chirripo, and 4) a hike-turned-run in Cloudbridge Reserva in Costa with beautiful waterfalls.

Post-nose bleed running photo shoot in Antigua, Guatemala on cobblestone; bad heel strike!

Anyways, turns out, I'm more out of shape (?) than I had thought. Today marked my first long run since the m-thon and it was a sufferfest. Not due to a blistering pace, but rather lots of little aches, pains, and soreness in my hamstrings and nether region (butt). Kind of a bummer for me. I thought a month of little running + a 90-min massage with intense focus on the piriformis would = feeling amazeballs. 

I also found out that I've been "targeting" the wrong race date for the Lake Sonoma 50. It's a whole month earlier than I had thought! I'm not worried yet. Just feeling like a munson for working off the wrong race date.

And in other exciting news, I now officially need to run and finish the Lake Sonoma 50 in order to obtain my 2 qualifying points for the CCC on August 29th, starting in Courmayeur, Italy. 

Photo from the 2012 CCC. Insane!

With all the excitement I'm feeling about the year ahead, I still battle feelings of "am I crazy?" "Will my friends and teammates think I'm crazy?" "Will my Mom think I've been coerced into doing something so nutty?" 

I've also heard rumors that our team coach is not a huge fan of ultra-running. Perhaps as a direct result of this knowledge, I felt embarrassed and almost ashamed when an Impala teammate "called me out" on running the Lake Sonoma 50 and I immediately started trying to rationalize my crazy decision to race 50 miles. "Well yeah, I am running it...I'm giving it a try. It's crazy, I know. I'm sure I'll hate running that far." Turns out she wasn't being critical and actually thought it was really cool that I was going for it.

Maybe I'm so sensitive to this because I once judged ultra runners as ridiculous, nutty, selfish whack jobs and only recently have begun to change my tune. Or, maybe it's because I know my parents don't really approve. Or rather my parents associate it with an outside influence. I certainly didn't learn about the world of ultra-running from the Blandy's; but, I did learn my love of running from them, which matters most, I think. 

So, while internally I'm very satisfied and excited by my race plan for this year, I'd like to work on sharing my excitement with family and friends. No more insecurity and embarrassment about the journey I'm embarking on, which will no doubt take up a significant amount of my personal time. It was my decision to sign up for these races, and I need to own it.

Let the year of the ultra begin!

Ultra-ing

Lake Sonoma 50 - here I come!

It's official! Assuming everything goes as planned, I'll be running my first ultra-marathon on Saturday, April 12th!! I think. Turns out I entered the wrong credit card information while trying to breeze through the sign-up process. But, I did receive a confirmation email, so hopefully I'm OK. 

Approximately 300 people will run this race. It sold out in 37 minutes yesterday. Yowza!

Here's how I'm feeling today.......

What the balls did I get myself into?!!!!!